The Time Warp Deja Vu

The Time Warp Deja Vu

Dé•jà vu[1]

  • A feeling of having already experienced the present situation
  • Tedious familiarity

For about a month and a half, I have been experiencing feelings of déjà vu, moments of where I have been here before, but certain things have changed.

It’s interesting timing to say the least. We are at the end December. The ending of yet another year ~ 2018 going by in a flash.

Weren’t we just here? Like a second ago?

Last week while looking through a notebook I use to keep my to do list for my manager job, I found a channeling I did one year ago ~ on December 18, 2017.

            “Great Being, we are one with you and want to make you aware of events in the coming days. Be wary of falling short of taking care of the self, it is a trying time, yes. But one to push you through and remind you of your healthy boundaries within the self. Task focus is key, things of importance. Staying true to your health.” ~ Adona, channeled by MayLynne

Unfortunately, I did not heed my guides warning. I ran myself ragged and found myself sick on Christmas Day. So sick that I had to send my family away so that I could rest. It took me about a week and a half to heal enough to return to work.

This channeling was meant for me to find once again, in this moment, in this year. I write my channeling in a journal or specific book, and rarely would go back a whole year to read one unless specifically looking for something. There was a specific reason I was drawn to channel in that moment, in that book. And in this year, it gave me a new opportunity for me to listen, take action and set a healthy boundary within myself and my health.

I have noticed that my triggers are when I’m tired, exhausted from a long day. I mostly cook my own meals at home. When I’m tired, I don’t often want to take that time to prepare a good meal.

My excuse? “It will take too long. I’d rather quickly pick something up.” The problem is, that isn’t going to be something that is good or healthy for me. I have learned that planning ahead is key for me to stay on top of my eating. Having food in my house, even making extra for leftovers to have for another night.

Last year, in my neglect of the self, as well as not eating healthy for me, I also was not doing any type of exercise program whatsoever. My body needs physical activity, not only to maintain a healthy weight, but also to stay grounded with the energy work that I do.

I allowed myself to get so out of whack, that my arthritic knees have not been very happy. A few months ago, I began doing yoga again 2-3 times a week to help move my body again. It’s still a process, but I’m working through it.

These moments of déjà vu can happen in many different situations that we experience – the continuum of a pattern, “I have been here before.”

The beauty is though, that you’re not really in the same place. The elements might be the same, the view might be the same, the people might be the same, but the experience is different.

The reason is because you now have more knowledge than the last time, you have gained experience.

The question Spirit is asking is, “Are you paying attention?”

Are you taking responsibility for your non-actions? What has Spirit asked of you to move forward that you’re still putting to the side? These are valuable insights that are needed in order to fully move forward on the path that is for your highest good.

When you’re paying attention and aware of the circumstance and you are changing your action, you’re changing an old paradigm. You’ve learned the lesson. There still might be times when you have to reiterate that you have learned the lesson, but you’ve moved in the right direction.

The trick is to stay aware and conscious.

I’ve set many new goals and aspirations for myself as I head into 2019, to do things differently than I have before. So that I can be in a new state of being than I have before. I welcome you to do the same.

I’m wishing you all a healthy and very Happy New Year filled with the beauty of discovery and beautiful possibilities!!

Magical blessings and love! <3

 

[1] Google dictionary definition


Walking the Yellow Brick Road to Healing

Walking the Yellow Brick Road to Healing

On this journey we are searching. Our souls are searching.

Whether we unconscious or conscious, we can have times when we are closed off to what it is we are searching for, what it means to us and our souls. Fighting in the eye of the storm against the winged monkeys.

We can be searching for a new way of being, enlightenment, a life purpose, or healing ~ healing within, as well as healing with specific people that have been and/or are currently in our life.

The test is, will we answer the calling of our souls?

Recently, my Mom and I took a trip to Kansas. The trip was originally planned to celebrate my niece’s 21st birthday. I was excited to go and celebrate her. What I didn’t know was that Spirit had other plans in mind.

I made the decision that since I was going all the way to Kansas, I also wanted to see my step-brother and step-sister and their families, and step-Dad. It had been about 30 years since we had seen each other. Our only communication has been through good ole Facebook. I have missed my brother and sister very much and was excited to see them.

My step-Dad, well, I had a very healthy boundary with him. Within a month of my awakening, I received a letter from him apologizing for everything that had happened 20 years before and during my childhood.

As I was reeling from my own devastation of my marriage ending, I couldn’t deal with the issues with him in the moment. It was about two years later that I wrote him a letter sharing my feelings and how I stood with him, what had happened, and our relationship moving forward. I put up a boundary that we could be Facebook friends, but that was it. I let them all know that I wanted to have a little reunion, that included all of us, including our half-brother and his kids whom I see every summer.

I didn’t know what to expect seeing my step-Dad again, if I would change my stance or it would stay right where it was. But I feel that life, Spirit, the Universe, gives you these opportunities, these fork in the roads to make a choice. We can either continue walking the same path, or we can choose something different, something that can allow us to grow and expand.

Something that our soul is searching for.

The reunion was set for the day after our arrival at my older brother’s motorcycle clubhouse. It was awesome as it had plenty of space for us all to enjoy each other all day. They have a full kitchen, barbeque, big tv, pool table and music. We were all very excited, but also quietly nervous.

Seeing my older brother and sister was priceless. We held onto each other tightly. Reminiscing of the past. It was touching at how traumatizing parts of our life were, especially at the end of our parent’s marriage, that we each still had wonderful memories of our childhood together. “Remember when…” was a consistent beginning of a sentence that day.

Our favorite times were camping in Big Bear or O’Neill Park. We would go fishing, play kick~the~can with other kids, eat Dinty Moore Stew (which I’m sure would be disgusting now! Lol), and of course roast marshmallows for s’mores!

My step-Dad and his wife came to the party a little bit later. The moment I saw him a well of emotions began to creep up within me, rising from my sacral chakra to my throat. I was surprised at how much was still there.

Yes, I am an intuitive healer. I sense things, I feel things, I know things. But sometimes when we’re really busy with life, or we haven’t completely honed in on something, or Spirit is not showing you something, things surprise you.

I was on the other side of the clubhouse when he walked in, plenty of space and people in between us. Thankfully. It gave me a moment to center myself and get my breathing in check.

I walked into the kitchen where my little brother and his girlfriend were and took a deep, deep breath. “Wow,” I said, “There’s a whole lot more there than I realized.” They made sure that I was okay, and I went back out to greet him.

My step-Dad was excited to see me, thrilled actually. He hugged me tightly saying that it was so good to see me. The next hour or so was spent with intermittent casual conversations. Easy peasy.

He called me over a bit later, thanking me for allowing him into his life again. Saying that it had been a long time. I said, “Yes, well there was a lot that went on.” I’m not going to go into what happened because even though I was a part of it, it wasn’t about me and it’s not my story to tell.

As we discussed the happenings of the past, I found myself heatedly, not screaming, but with reemerged emotion defending my feelings and how it had affected me in my life.

This was a new way of being for me.

One of my biggest lessons has been to use my voice, to express myself freely and completely. I found in these moments face to face with him the ability to do so. The ability to say everything I needed to say.

So many moments in my life with so many people that I have cowered away from confrontation, cowered away from speaking my truth, cowered away from saying everything that I needed to say.

This was not one of them.

Realizations swept over me. Realizations that pertain to every type of relationship, old relationships, current relationships and new relationships.

Perceptions are people’s thought forms ~ it doesn’t make them right, it doesn’t make them wrong. When we choose to not find the truths of situations, perceptions and doubt remain. Truth remains to be unknown, untouched.

It’s important to allow ourselves to see where someone is in their own journey. To be able to see their humanness as well as their soul. We all have a part of us that still stands in our humanness, it may be different or the same as where someone else stands.

There are going to be those times that we may never understand the reasoning of the choices that people make, even with the ability to see the humanness and soul aspects.

In forgiveness we can still have boundaries, still set a line with how much we are willing to let that person in our life, or maybe not at all. That is our choice.

You will often hear me say, “Healing is like the layers of an onion. We don’t always peel off every single layer at once. We may peel one off now, maybe another in a week, maybe another in five years, or ten, or thirty.” The point is to peel off the layer that has lifted and let go.

I’m ever so grateful for the change in plans that Spirit brought to my siblings, my step-Dad and I. We all came together after so much hurt and angst, looking for something. Wanting something that we couldn’t quite touch… until now.

In walking the yellow brick road to healing~

As the lion, we all found the courage to come together

As the scarecrow, we all healed our heart

As Dorothy, we found our way home… thirty years later, to

peace, understanding and compassion of where each of us is in our journey.

Where can you take the yellow brick road to healing?

 

A Message from a Sand Dollar

A Message from a Sand Dollar

I love going to the beach pretty much on any day, but especially when I’m needing to clear my mind. It’s especially healing to walk in the salty waves and find a spot to meditate. I needed this deeply a couple weeks back and did just that.

It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon; the sun was sparkling, and the weather was perfect. I was wearing a t-shirt and leggings and had to pull up my leggings as it was warmer than I expected.

As I walked along I gathered a few heart shaped rocks ~ I collect them, and they find their new home in my love corner of my bedroom.

I was particularly excited to find a sand dollar as I strolled the wet sand. I’ve never found one before! Unfortunately, as I found my meditation spot, I noticed that I had accidentally broke it in half against the heart shaped rocks. I was bummed. I tried to see if I could glue it together, but a tiny piece broke separately, and it wouldn’t come together right. I noted my frustration to Spirit briefly, but then went about my meditation, spreading out my legs to soak up the warm sun rays.

After my meditation I slowly walked my way back to the San Clemente Pier, again letting the waves lap at my feet.

Just as I was passing T-Street, a famous surfing spot, a man said to me, “It’s a beautiful day today!”

I responded, “Yes, it is.”

He then handed me something and said, “Here, this is for you. She’s a little beat up, but still beautiful.”

It was a sand dollar. The face was broken out a bit.

As soon as I had told him thank you, he said, “Do you live here?”

“No, I live up north.” Laguna Hills is north of San Clemente, so, I’m not lying. 😉

“What are you doing here?” He questioned.

“I’m just enjoying the day.”

“It is a beautiful day. Are you single?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Would you like to go out sometime?”

“No, I don’t think so.” My response came out quicker than I had planned, but it was the right response that I wanted. “Thank you for the sand dollar. Have a magical day.”

And I turned and continued my walk towards the pier.

Now, that may seem pretty straight forward to most people, but to me, it’s was a beautiful moment realizing I have made some great strides in my growth where relationships are concerned.

I don’t get asked out very often. And there was a time when, even if I wasn’t interested in the guy, I would have felt obligated to go out with him because he gave me a gift.

Even a tiny little sand dollar.

Or I would have wondered, “Could this be the guy?” He clearly was not. But when you are a co-dependent person, when you are a desperate person, you wonder. You question.

I asked myself if I should keep the sand dollar. I would have preferred her to not be broken. I knew though, in keeping the sand dollar that I would be reminded of the encounter every time I looked at it.

I remembered the sand dollar that I had found earlier. How it breaking was a sign of what was to come and how to handle the situation.

I looked behind me to make sure that he wasn’t following me. He wasn’t. My hand at my side, I gently opened my hand and let it go.

As I was expressing my happiness at my growth to myself and Spirit, I came across a feather and a single rose petal. A beautiful sign from Spirit.

I’m so grateful for each reminder of growth from Spirit. Oh, and don’t forget the sunscreen ~ I’ve now got funny tan lines on my legs! Haha!

Make sure that you are celebrating all of your steps of growth and have a magical day!

 

Working Smarter, Not Harder

Working Smarter, Not Harder

A friend of mine recently posted on Facebook that she was trying to instill in her children the concept of ‘Working Smarter, Not Harder’. This conversation came about in her household with the starting of school. The saying began ringing loudly within my head.

The concept appealed to me. I’m pretty much in a constant state of working on bringing balance into my life, trying to figure out ways to not work so hard, as well as, well, let’s face it more abundance. Who isn’t, right??!!

I started taking inventory of where in my life that I could be working smarter and not harder.

One thing became very clear to me every time I was in my house. If you know me personally, you know I have two adorable kitties. Two adorable kitties that are also very messy kitties! I bought some cardboard scratching posts that my kitties absolutely love. I’ve never had cardboard scratching posts with any other cat that I’ve had. They are wonderful for the cats to stretch their paws.

The problem with cardboard is it tears and breaks off. And then it trails everywhere. Times two for two kitties. I would sweep it up and within five minutes there would be cardboard trailed all over again. I would wind up sweeping and cleaning every day.

I had seen scratching posts that were sturdy and had rope and carpet, but they were about $15, and my frugal self said, “These others are just $5. It’s okay, you can live with it.”

Every time I walked into my family room, I would become frustrated and irritated over the situation.

“MayLynne, you can ease your frustration and irritation by spending the $15 for these amazing cat scratchers that will not only prevent cardboard remnants all over your house, they will last longer.” Purchase made! Bye~bye frustration, and my kitties love their new scratching post!

Another aspect that came to focus was wanting to teach more and be able to have time to write more. I currently just don’t have the energy or the time to be able to add more classes into my schedule and be able to write all that I am wanting to on sometimes a daily basis.

I have three reading shifts between the two stores and three days where I am doing manager work. I didn’t feel that I could let any of these working times go financially.

The pull to teach and write got stronger and stronger.

Writing is part of my life purpose. It is something that I’m meant to do, and I always felt that the right opportunity or way would just show up for me. But that wasn’t my lesson. My lesson was to move towards my purpose and do what I needed to do to make it happen.

I realized that if I was to give up one reading shift a week, I would have more energy to be able to teach ~ even a class series, and I would create the time to be able to write. I just need to stick to my writing day just as I would a reading or working shift day.

I worked on letting go of my fear that I wouldn’t be bringing in as much financially and surrendered into the gift of being able to teach and how much that I love doing that. I will still be able to do intuitive readings/counseling, as well as being a manager.

Stepping into my purpose is what I’m here to do.

We have been raised and are a society that believes that we must work so hard just to survive. Living in California doesn’t help in this matter with rent and grocery prices increasing in what seems to be each moment. But, we are all waking up and learning and discovering the idea that we can do what we love, work in our passion and be quite successful. Surrendering into that motion is the key.

Working smarter doesn’t mean that we aren’t working hard in achieving our goals and dreams, or focused on what we are doing. It just means that we are:

Working in a way that is ultimately for our highest good.

I encourage you to discover ways that you can be working smarter and no longer harder. Ways for you to discover how you can work more in your purpose and what brings you joy and fulfillment.

Happy Discovering and Magical Blessings!

A Decade of Awakening

A Decade of Awakening

August 2018 marks a decade of my awakening, or shall I say my reawakening. We are all born conscious and remain so for a couple of years. How it is encouraged and continued to allow to grow, depends on each of us individually. What our parents teach us, allow us to believe, our culture, and our societal surroundings.

I always knew that there were Spirits around, I have vivid memories of experiences seeing Spirits through my bedroom windows from as little as 5-7 years old. It was a feeling of always being watched. I never mentioned this to anyone, I’m not quite sure why not. It didn’t frighten me, and I didn’t think it was unusual. I think I just felt that everyone was seeing the same thing that I was.

I grew up in a Christian household, and no one in my family ever talked about spirituality as an extension of religion ~ within my immediate family or extended family. So, my understanding of Spirits did not expand.

The day of my reawakening plays vividly in my mind. I was dropping off my husband at the Ontario Airport as he was heading off on a business trip. I pulled up to the departure gates, turned off the car as he leaned over to give me a goodbye kiss and said, “I’ll miss you, see you tomorrow.”

Dread washed over me. I didn’t want him to come back. I wanted this short trip to be longer. “Tomorrow, really??”

I drove away from the terminal. This feeling caught me off guard, we were not in a fight, he rarely traveled.

“Why? Why did I feel this way? I love my husband. I should be happy that he’s coming back tomorrow.” These questions were like a skipping record within my mind.

“This… this is not good.”

In the following moments I did something that was truly divinely guided.

I turned off the radio and went within.

I had never tuned in or gone within before. I didn’t consciously know what that meant. But I was doing it.

Sure, I’ve prayed lots and lots of times, but this was different. With the radio off, I began to work on quieting my mind, tried to find some clarity as I made the short drive back to our home in Corona.

“I love my husband, why do I feel this?”

Within the next few moments I heard, “You are not IN love with him. You love him, but you are not IN love with him.”

I was in complete shock and traumatized.

I instantly knew I was hearing the truth. It was ringing within my head with purity and clarity.

“How could this be? Why is this happening to me after everything I’ve been through in my life? I deserve happiness, and this was my happiness! I deserve the fairy tale ending!!”

For the next six months I drew more and more inward, inside a personal, invisible cocoon. I told no one of my misery, of my revelation, keeping it completely within myself.

I knew my marriage was over because I knew that I could not go back and pretend I wasn’t feeling all the things that were bubbling up. I was noticing all the things that I had been repressing for the last ten years. I began to see how I had not been living the life I wanted. I was not able to express my thoughts, feelings and opinions freely. I was not able to use my voice.

And I knew that within the marriage that would never change. He would want me to stay the same and I could not be who I was before. I knew without a doubt that I could not forget that I now was seeing all my unhappiness, I thought about it, but all it ever did was make me sadder and more miserable.

I felt like I was dying inside and staying would lead to certain death.

I was soon divinely guided to my first spiritual counselor/mentor who guided me along our separation and divorce, bringing peace within me to understand what was happening with me, my intuition beginning to bud and finding clarity in my precognitive dreams. Teaching me how to use my voice and to no longer apologize for my feelings, thoughts and opinions.

I began teaching myself how to meditate by sitting on my bed at night and envisioning myself sitting at the beach, with a sparkly golden light moving from the top of my head up into the universe. Asking Spirit questions and beginning to receive answers through visions and hearing within my mind.

Working on my chakras and seeing them as if in another body, rotating counter clockwise and barely visible, because I was so far outside of my body.

I learned that pennies are a true sign from Spirit. Whenever I get anxious or stressed about a situation, I find a penny, or have a vision of a penny. It’s an opportunity for me to trust that the situation may not turn out the way I want, or maybe it will, but to always trust the process because everything is happening in the highest good possible.

Just after my divorce, my Mom’s friend said she waited seven years before getting remarried and I was appalled. I would die. Literally. What would people think of me? There would be something truly wrong with me if it was going to take that long for someone to love me.

The fear of being alone, sent me into an array of unhealthy relationships playing out with a family therapist who wanted the label of “friends” but wanted everything more, too fearful to leave his loveless marriage (he claimed to be separated at the time we were dating).

Sharing delicious kisses and extraordinary passion with a surfing hunk, believing that what we shared would keep him from straying; when his words and actions said everything but staying true.

A friendship that tried to blossom into more, that had everything going for it but the deep, true love we both desired.

To online dating mishaps of knowing the second the man drove into the parking lot it was not meant to be. And allowing enticing, beautiful words, poems and songs to overshadow all the red flags of a neatly tied up conman’s lies.

Finding a connection that flared me up on the inside. Remembrance of a soul, deep love and connection forming so fast, so quickly. The one I didn’t let myself see to look for. Timing isn’t always what we want it to be, and there are times when you must detach from what you love the most to heal.

To eight years post~divorce, being in such a peaceful place that absolutely I would love to be married, but…

I’d much rather be on my own than in something that is anything but loving, compassionate and healthy.

I am grateful for this time in learning more about myself and healing the old wounds of self-esteem issues and co-dependency that was riddled within me.

Hearing that I am a healer by many people in the beginning of my journey, and not even knowing what a healer was. To discovering and growing my own business for the past five years.

Realizing how much we create our reality when I magically manifested a free trip to Paris and Disneyland Paris after just a month prior telling Spirit that I wanted to go on vacation and to Disneyland… it had been awhile.

Working hard and achieving a healthy, fit body; a healthy meditation and processing practice, when love asked for me only to suddenly turn and walk away; and a mentor/friend became one of my biggest teachers by empowering me with the lesson of equality and self~value, only to show me that she could only see me as beneath her. Unconsciously letting everything I achieved unravel by gaining weight, stopping exercise and barely having any type of meditation and processing practice, unloving myself for over a year. Finally allowing myself to see the deepness of self~love and how to ensure I never lose the grasp again.

Seeing, realizing and finally fully moving towards my life purpose, my passion in helping others along their path. Bringing clarity, empowerment, and healing to their journey, so that they may live a life of peace, inner happiness and self~love.

The past decade has shown me what a gift time is. Every day that passes, time gives me the opportunity to learn more about myself. Every moment there is a choice. A choice to make a different choice than I did a moment before. To move. To grow and evolve in a way that is for my highest good and fulfills my soul.

I don’t regret a single moment from my past. Sure, I wish I would have made different choices in pivotal moments, but each choice I made, I learned a lesson. Regretting only negates the lesson I learned. And I value each lesson. I honor them.

I’d be lying if I said there weren’t times when I get frustrated by the process, when I think I should be farther along than I am or be finished healing with a person or experience. I quickly remember that just this feeling alone is showing me a broader expansion/viewpoint is possible and deeper healing is on the horizon.

Someone once asked me what has kept me going, what has kept me moving forward, pushing through each difficult moment, each difficult phase. Those moments of crying hysterically on my couch or my bed, not quite sure how I would ever make it though.

Faith.

No matter what I’ve gone through, in my darkest of moments, I’ve always had Faith shining it’s bright, beautiful light telling me everything is going to be magical. I’m grateful.

 

 

Triggers. They’re Really Not That Pesky After All

Triggers. They’re Really Not That Pesky After All

It’s happened. I’ve become the Momma of an empty nest. In the same month my daughter moved out to go and become an adult, and my son who lives with his Dad, got a job, so I will be seeing him less and less.  At first, I handled this transition pretty well, enjoying my time being able to meditate whenever I wanted, watching whatever TV show that I wanted, and most of all, not wondering what time my daughter might come home in the middle of the night and wake me up! lol

Some moments began to creep up where I would get lonely while I was at home. Over the years I’ve worked hard on learning how to be okay with being on my own, to not be consumed with being alone, learning to love myself, self-care, and diving into my spiritual practice, journaling/processing, and learning to find things that I enjoy to do on my own. It’s an important state to be good in during your spiritual journey. It’s natural and normal though, to have moments of loneliness, it’s part of the human nature.

At this same time, though, I started to feel this within other areas of my life. The interesting thing was that nothing was truly wrong in any of the other areas, I was just perceiving that something was wrong because timing wasn’t working out right.

I was being triggered. My inner child was being triggered.

Triggered back to times in my childhood when I was a latch-key child and no one was home when I came home. My Mom worked six days a week to support us. And those other moments when I didn’t feel that anyone was listening to what I had to say.

Triggers are when we are affected by something someone says, does, an experience and/or situation that is happening in our lives. It bothers us. It unnerves us. It’s like an itch that won’t go away. And most of the time, it will link back to a similar experience that we had in our past, even going back to our adolescence or childhood.

Triggers are meant to get us moving, for us to take action. An action in healing a part of ourselves that is bubbling up because we are ready.

We are ready to heal this aspect of ourselves.

The trick is for us to notice what is happening.

Notice that something is bothering us.

Acknowledge what it is, being honest with yourself even if it is a dark shadow or judgement within yourself.

See if you can find a link to a past experience. There might be multiple experiences coming up, and that is okay.

Work your processing and healing magic. Allowing yourself to feel all that needs to be expressed.

Forgive yourself and others if needed.

Releasing and letting go.

When you find that an experience or situation no longer triggers you, you are at peace with it, then you have healed that aspect of yourself.

Start being aware to see if you are being triggered in any way. Wishing you swift action, and a magical day!