At some time or another, you’ve probably said, “I’m sad,” “I’m lonely,” “I’m ecstatic,” or “I’m joyful.” What about “I feel angry,” or “I feel happy”? Do you notice the difference? There is a one… a complete difference. What are you doing with your emotions? Are you allowing yourself to feel them or are you sending them away on a cloud hoping to never have to feelthem at all? Happiness, joy, and elation are easy emotions to allow ourselves to feel. But when was the last time you’ve allowed yourself to feel sadness, anger, or frustration? Hunkered yourself down, rolled up your sleeves and allowed yourself to really feel these emotions? Why haven’t we allowed this? Many of us have been told it’s better to hide our feelings, to not think about them, to let them go. We also don’t know how to feel. And it’s no wonder because we’ve never been taught. It’s very rare that any of us have heard, “Let yourself feel the emotion, it’s okay, let it all out. Once you feel it, you can process and understand it.”
Either through family domestication or society beliefs, we are raised to repress and ignore emotions because feeling is thought of as being weak and not strong. It’s quite the opposite. Allowing ourselves to feel is courageous. It shows a willingness to be vulnerable, to be true to what we are experiencing in the moment, rawness and all.
The energy of feelings came up for me recently as I was working on a recurring pattern of abandonment in my life. I went into a meditation and asked to be shown what mirror reflections were showing up for me. I began to see images of myself after I realized I was not in love with my ex-husband. I was devastated in those moments. I hurled within myself like a caterpillar in a cocoon. I felt empty, hollow and like an empty sack on the ground, but I avoided truly feeling any of it. I became numb by withdrawing from everyone around me, and life – but mostly, I withdrew from myself. I completely abandoned myself. It took six months to finally pull myself out of the numbness with the help of spirit, my family and friends by giving myself permission to feel.
There are times that we wish to protect the heart. Protect it from the pain, hurt, sadness and brokenness that we have felt in the past or are currently feeling. That in moments we might feel that running away or abandoning ourselves and even others, is the easiest thing to do. Because maybe then… just maybe, we don’t have to feel. Inevitably at some point though, it all boils up like a volcano ready to erupt. Whether we want it to or not.
Feeling is important. Happiness, joy, and elation are important to feel. Just as sadness and anger. And until we allow ourselves to heal those aspects without repressing them, we will more than likely push away a chance to feel again. Too afraid to take the chance to risk all of that all over again. And in pushing ourselves away, we are more than likely pushing others away. And pushing our life away.
Allowing yourself to feel is truly as simple as making time for the emotions to flow. Whether that is curled on your couch while writing your emotions in your journal (my journal is literally one of my best friends!), letting the tears flow in an Epsom salt bath or in the fetal position in bed, exercising, or talking with a trusted friend – even if you just need a listening ear. Remember meditation is a great tool at all times, especially when emotions are bubbling over. Make an appointment with yourself and give yourself permission to feel what is coming up for you.
The next step is also important, taking our power back from the person and/or experience so that we are not allowing it control over us. When we take our power back, our lives don’t need to spiral out of control. We will have control as we are navigating our way through the healing process. With your eyes closed, imagine the energy from yourself to the person and/or experience. The energy is connected to your solar plexus (just under your rib cage). Then begin breathing and pulling the energy back into your solar plexus. Doing this exercise will help you feel more stable to allow processing. Ask yourself these questions:
So where is it that needs to be loved within myself?
Where do I need to show up for myself?
We often forget that we have gained a gift from the experience. That gift is a valuable lesson in which the experience was meant to bring us. Going within and finding that lesson, for it is what your soul came here to learn. Give gratitude for that lesson.
Understanding that we came to the Earth plane to learn to love. To learn to love ourselves as well as others. Knowing… and truly believing that we are worthy. We are deserving of love. Then allow yourself to believe, to truly feel the love of your higher self, guides, God, Goddess, all that is.
There are times when people and/or experiences shake you to the core. The rawness of stripped down, bare naked emptiness comes over you. And that is okay. Feel it. Process it. And then you can stand up, brush yourself off, be there for yourself full of self-love and gratitude. For you are a divine being, one with source, one of love.
I made a promise to myself that day in my meditation surrounded with my inner child, adolescent and spirit guides, to never abandon myself again. To always be there for myself, giving myself permission to feel what is coming up, listening to what I’m needing, honoring and loving myself. I hope you’ll make the same promise to yourself.
Here are some affirmations that have helped me in this process and hopefully can be of help to you:
I am always here for myself.
Spirits always with me.
Emotions are important and healthy for me to feel.
I love myself.