May…oh May! I hadn’t experienced a month like this in a very long time. Just in one night we suddenly lost our beloved cat, Smokey ~ which of course crushed us and my heart got a little broken in the romance department. A few days later I found out that my uncle, who is like a father to me, was in the hospital due to two lesions on his brain. I was also concerned with the uncertainty of the next few months ~ my daughter’s college decision, having to move and my finances were not quite what I would like them to be. I wanted to run so fast out of May that I drove myself through two toll booth violations (they had just switched from cash to strictly having a pre-paid account) and a parking ticket (the sign was on the corner at the bottom of the hill), that collectively cost me almost $200. Brilliant!! I’ve been having a lot of conversations with friends, clients and this was a month that we’d all love to put behind us. Like the world was turned upside down and shaken like a dirt rag. It was one of those times when I thought, “Wow! Haven’t I put up with enough crap?” I’d really like to use a stronger word here, but I’ll write nice. 😉
Smokey the day before he got sick. No signs of illness.
He loved helping us with projects!
Working on living a conscious life, I know that the experiences that are happening in my life are intended to teach me valuable lessons…lessons that help me grow into a more evolved state. Of course, it would be nice if they didn’t all happen at the same time, but I have learned that these are for now phases, not a forever phase. Instead of feeling that the ground is completely falling out from under me…there’s a sense that there’s a cushion six inches down to safely land on. I have a knowing that I am not alone in this even if it may feel that is the case in the physical realm.
I had several dreams about this phase a few months back. In one dream I was driving on a tree lined street and suddenly coming towards me were big black clouds. Trees and cars suddenly began to fly in the air, some coming towards my way and people were running everywhere. It was as if I was in the middle of an action movie! I didn’t have time to get out of the car and run out of the way, my only option was to lie down over the passenger seat and put my hands over my head and pray that I would survive. And I did. I got out of the car without a scratch on me. Just before my dreaded weekend I had a vision of me giving myself a kiss…a sign of self love. I didn’t understand these signs at first; it wasn’t until I was in the middle of the shake up that I realized they were signs from my guides.
Even with these clear signs from my guides that everything is going to be okay, my ego naturally creeps up and the fear voice gets louder and louder saying, “How am I going to get through this?” It’s a daily practice to be in a state of trusting, deep breathing and having a lot of faith. There are certain times in life when I’m not going to be ready for the answer of ‘How?’ Yes, that’s true, even being an intuitive I don’t have all the answers ~ man I’d sure like to sometimes, but that really is not the point. The point is to experience life, live in the moment. Going within to bring peace within.
So I began making a stronger connection with my guides and Spirit by increasing my meditations, praying and communication, yoga, more Epsom salt baths and walks on the beach. During one of my walks on the beach I saw this beautiful flower poking out of the dirt. I was amazed at this sight, right in this moment. It was not a weed, and I had seen desert flowers before…but never with these eyes…never with the filter that was now on them and the experiences I just walked through.
Like the phoenix who bursts into flames and is born again from the ashes, so am I from the experiences that I live. I have a feelings of “I have been here before,” but really I haven’t, not in this space, not in this time. I have grown and am putting what I have learned into form. The energy and vibration has changed and so have I. It’s a wonderment really. I know on the other side of this storm there is a rainbow. I bet it’s a beauty.
Through dust beauty can grow.
Update: My uncle has since had surgery to remove the big lesion and is healing tremendously. They are doing a biopsy, but feel that it is benign.