You reach for so many things in life. I don’t know why not love too.
I know fear, so familiar with it and its stories and dynamics. Controlling so many things in my life.
But to walk away from something where you “feel so much”, I still don’t understand in my humanness. After all this time.
The first day we met, you asked if I could find you love, and there I stood.
A year later you said you felt I could love you unconditionally, and there I stood.
My arms open, my heart open.
And you still walked away.
I don’t place it all on you. I have learned to take my own responsibility. Falling into old patterns that have never served me.
Allowing my want to be in your arms to overshadow of where I was headed, where we were headed in breaking the healthy boundaries of co~dependency and high standards that we both had agreed upon.
The thought of losing you again devastating me.
But Yoda is right, you must “Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.”
My heart knows you. My soul knows you.
My hope is that you learn to know yourself, learn to know your heart, and learn to know your soul.
That you become aware that you are worthy and deserving of the true love you spoke of. Whether with me or another, I set you free for whatever that may be.
From the first day, to this day, and every day in between, I have loved you.